Scarlett Fever: A Day Away! →
scarlettfevershow: Our show opens tomorrow! Ahh! Since I last wrote, things have come together quite wonderfully. We have smoothly incorporated props, sets, costumes, and SOUND into the mix (I’m in the kind of mental state right now where there is no choice BUT to capitalize the word “sound” upon typing it). And…
I wrote a play called Scarlett Fever that’s debuting in the Fringe Festival in a few weeks! Read more about it here and buy tickets here!!!!
cherish that antipasto →
two women, early 30s, on the elevator
Woman #1: Can you imagine, if he actually looks at her profile and writes back to her?
Woman #2: She’d scream. She’d be like, “I have free time dot com.”
Woman #1: The thing is, she’s still hung up on that client of hers.
Woman #2: (somber) I know.
Woman #1: It’s like…. *he’s just not that into you*.
Woman #1: I feel so full. Spinning is not going to be easy.
Woman #2: We still have an hour…
the two things i whispered to my friend during...
1) (after Edith from “Downton Abbey” has a brief cameo in which she shamelessly flirts with Benedict Cumberbatch) “God, she’s just always throwing herself at dudes, huh?” 2) (after sad teacher cruelly rejects a gift from a loser student about two hours into the movie) “That’s the first thing that’s happened so far that I’ve understood.”
Me: C’mon. If you were Angelina, would you talk to Stacy Keibler? My mom: Yes! Me: What would you say to her? My mom: “Hi! How are you? Nice hair!”
Banter from E!'s Oscar Nominations Telecast
“If I seem excited, well, I usually am… but I’m super excited today…” - Ashlan Gorse “You know… even when [Clooney] plays a jerk, he’s so likable.” - Chris Gore / ”So true, so true.” - Ashlan “I just think the cast of that is lucky it isn’t called ‘Tyler Perry’s The Help’ because he would have played...
George Clooney, Matt Damon and Daniel Craig each separately answered the same questionnaire for Vanity Fair. This is how each actor responded to the question: “What talent would you most like to have?” Clooney: “Musical - I’d like to play an instrument.” Damon: “To be able to play the music I hear in my head. I wish I could play every musical instrument, and I...
the new year →
reflex grimacing →
A source adds that Blake “hit her head on a lamp as [she sat down in the booth] and put a napkin jokingly on her head.”
four most on point moments in "shame"
1. A flummoxed Michael Fassbender ordering the same thing his date just ordered (lamb) at a restaurant. 2. Walking to the subway together after their date, Fassbender asks her something like “If you could be anything in any decade, what would you be?” She responds by asking, almost immediately, “What would you be?” 3. The exchange between Fassbender and Carey Mulligan...
the longest minutes →
What I've Learned From Living Alone →
I wrote about living alone for Thought Catalog!
on seeing movies alone →
items of clothing I think about all the time
- Linda Cardellini’s oversized green jacket in “Freaks and Geeks” - that “TRASH” shirt Brad Pitt wore in Anguilla right before he and Jennifer Aniston got divorced - Julia Roberts’ white bow dress in “Mystic Pizza” - and, of course, the matching denim
weekend, 5/27-5/30 →
the four most resonant moments in 'bridesmaids'...
1) Kristen Wiig saying “So… the excitement continues with me” halfway through the voicemail she leaves for Maya Rudolph 2) Kristen Wiig’s expression after she takes a bite of the cupcake she makes for herself 3) Kristen Wiig hugging her mother from behind during that “getting back on track” montage 4) Kristen Wiig adding “… but he’s really...
Harper’s Bazaar: What makes you laugh uncontrollably? Britney Spears: Usually when people trip or fall or run into something. Not to be mean, but I can’t help it. If they really hurt themselves, then I feel bad, but if they accidentally do it and they stand up and act cool like nobody saw them, I have to laugh. ….. Harper’s Bazaar: If you met yourself at a party, what...
my brother and i gchat during "abduction" trailer
Sam: 3 2 1 PLAY beginning like a superhero movie me: ugh they always “feel different” iPad! Sam: is that an ipad? me: lol Sam: lily looks so young me: yeahhh Sam: a site of WHAT MISSING KIDS LOOK LIKE? this is so disturbia/like lowbrow me: hahaha Sam: omg parents can fight! alfred molina!? me: sigourney! Sam: omgggg this cast!! me: seems like a parody kind...
Upper East Side High School Girl, wearing Ole Miss sweatshirt and skinny jeans, at Pinkberry register. Cashier is a pudgy guy wearing a baseball hat, probably in his twenties.
Cashier: Someone in your family go to Ole Miss?
HSG: (makes an "are you seriously talking to me?" face) Oh. Uh. A cousin. Yeah.
Cashier: Oh, cool. I know *a bunch* of people who went there.
Cashier: You should ask your cousin if she's found the mascot.
Cashier: (hands her change) It's like a thing there, no one can find the mascot.
HSG: Oh. I didn't know that.
HSG bolts. I walk up to counter, squinting to make out my total on the cash register.
Cashier: Why are you looking there instead of looking at me?
whole foods banter
Couple in their early 30s, sitting at table next to me at Whole Foods: Her: So you know that “Wall Street Journal” article about where to put your cash? Him: No…? Her: I put it in our saved folder. Him: Oh. I’ve been having trouble with Firefox lately. Him: Remember that movie with Michael Serna, the one where he has that French alter ego? Her: Serna?! You mean Cera? Him:...
weekend, 2/25-2/27 →
Why I Find Strength in Britney Spears →
"catch what you hit" →
conversation with a guy in a bar
Me: So... are a lot of your college friends in the city?
Him: Not really.... well, actually, it's more that I don't really keep in touch with people from college.
Me: Yeah. Keeping in touch is hard.
(three second pause)
Me: I mean, I feel like things sort of happen organically though, right? Like, if you are meant to keep in touch with someone, it just happens. And if you don't, it's sort of just... meant to be that way?
Him: No, in my case, I think it's just my fault.
Me: Oh, OK.
highlights from a group gchat in which we listened...
Sarah: it sounds like another song is playing at the same time Andrew: it’s just like too Village People cheesy Sarah: yeah like mad gay me: this like isn’t catchy either Sarah: not in a good way Sarah: the chorus just needs to have less going on like it is headache inducing Sam: i feel like this is a closing song from “high school musical 4” or something Sarah: are...
Waiting for Elevator with Broker
Broker: You don't have any pets, do you?
Me: Oh. Um, do I? No.
Me: So pets aren't allowed in the building?
Me (NO EXPLANATION FOR THIS): Oh, just as well.
Broker: (smiles with the falseness of a 'Bachelor' contestant)
Me (AGAIN, NO CLUE WHAT I WAS THINKING HERE): ... do you have a dog?
Me: Oh. (three second pause) What kind?
Broker: Just a small one.
Me: Oh, uh, well that's totally different! It's the big dogs where it's like... you feel... (I make a face like one I might make when I accidentally spill soda on my pants)
Gossip Girl tonight was like the Platonic ideal of a Gossip Girl episode. 1. Dan told Serena he was on his way to see “James Franco giving a reading of his short stories at Housing Works.” 2. This was a “Gossip Girl” voiceover, verbatim: “Will Lonely Boy ever learn that S. can’t tell time?” 3. Vanessa (who wasn’t even in the episode!) was...
The Night Blogger Blogs Alone →
Wrote ‘bout the “Night Blogger Experience” for The Awl.
$98 Saks →
Five Most Aggravating 'Love And Other Drugs'...
zany/free-spirited female character has a voice mail recording that is absurdly zany/free-spirited male protagonist realizes he can’t live without female protagonist minutes after she has left town on some kind of mode of transportation (in this case, a bus) meaning he must track her down in dramatic, breathless fashion a total stranger completely overshares to a major character in a...
Wrote this yesterday about Ryan Reynolds and... →
on friendship & the outdoors →